Category Archives: Humor

We tried 200 covid-19 vaccines so you don’t have to! | Coldstreams Business and Tech

I wrote this in August of 2020 as a joke – it was satire and parody of news headlines.

Sadly, many of these headlines ended up becoming real!: We tried 200 covid-19 vaccines so you don’t have to! | Coldstreams Business and Tech

 

  • We tried 200 Covid-19 vaccines so you don’t have to!
  • Study finds this one weird trick could alleviate vaccine side effects
  • I had the Covid-19 vaccine – what was it like?
  • Covid-19 vaccine to increase climate change emissions
  • Do you really need to spend more than $40 on a Covid-19 vaccine?
  • Up to 40 million Americans could be injected by year end-will you be one of them?
  • Covid-19 Vaccines – Hands-On!
  • You won’t believe what Melania said about the new vaccine!
  • History of diversity at Moderna, Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson in light of vaccine release
  • How to pick the right vaccine for you!
  • Confusion reigns over which vaccine to choose
  • How vaccines are impacting low income earners
  • A former KGB spy talks disinformation tactics and how this effects the Covid-19 vaccine
  • Most stunning Instagram selfies of people getting vaccine!
  • Alt-right protestors gather without face masks and question the real reason for vaccines
  • 7 secrets you should know about the Covid-19 vaccine
  • News reporter gets vaccine, live, on the air, and you won’t believe what happened next
  • DHS concerned over “insensitive names” given to some Covid-19 vaccines
  • How a vaccine is changing remote Nunatsiavut
  • Unsolved mysteries of vaccine distribution
  • Bay area to fine people who do not get vaccinated
  • Survey: Tell us what you think of your vaccine?
  • Learn how vaccines are ruining work at home opportunities for the disabled
  • Data shows which vaccine is worst for Californians
  • Moderna’s vaccine is here and its named “Sweet Shots Live!”
  • Trump mispronounces name of new vaccine
  • Man who predicted 2000 market crash says this about 2021 vaccines
  • Airlines to ban travelers who refuse vaccine
  • Airports add Covid-19 vaccine sniffer dogs to check travelers
  • J&J to skip U.S. vaccine release and go straight to Netflix distribution
  • Covid-19 vaccine will widen the “digital divide”
  • Zoom faces business collapse as millions get vaccinated

The history behind face masks in this pandemic

A chronological review of public health official advisories on using random bits of cloth to stop an aerosol spread respiratory virus.

The history is beyond parody – it’s hilarious! Masks off? Or masks on? A history of the CDC’s consistently inconsistent advice on face coverings — RT Op-ed

More:

  • San Francisco, where 86% of those eligible for vaccination have been vaccinated – has re-instituted a mandatory indoor facial covering requirement for all vaccinated persons. Apparently, the vaccines do not work now? And masks work better than vaccines, even though masks failed to stop any spread in 2020-2021.
  • The WSJ notes the CDC is now setting policy based on missing or flawed data (and the CDC does not seem to care).
  • Celebrity epidemiologist Michael Osterholm, PhD, is now saying the masks people have been using (random bits of “cloth facial coverings”) do not work and we should really be using N95 masks. Several other experts are now saying the same thing. Yet my own state still says in August of 2021 that the public should not use N95 masks or any medical-grade surgical mask but should use random bits of cloth facial coverings, which are useless.
  • Utah just announced it will give – free – KN95 masks to all school kids.
  • In January, Austria and the Bavarian state in Germany announced that N95 (FP2) masks were mandatory in public settings – no more cloth masks. About the same time, the White House prohibited the use of cloth masks, as did the NBA for all officials, staff, coaches and players. Instead, they mandated use of N95 masks.

(Reminder – a brain injured idiot has been saying this for over a year. If a brain injured idiot could figure this out, what does that say about the “experts”?)

Heh – Company CEO favors tax on his competitors

Laughable:

The founder of the world’s biggest plant-based meat company has suggested that a tax on meat could help tackle some of the problems from growing meat consumption.

Source: Beyond Meat boss: Tax on negative impacts “does appeal” – BBC News

Such crass lobbying for the government to harm his competitors is funny – this kind of lobbying is usually done behind closed doors with large donations to politicians!

Did you know that Covid can tell the difference between a wedding and a funeral attendee?

Amazing – SARS-CoV-2 doesn’t target funeral attendees, only targets wedding attendees.

Can weddings go ahead?

People are not allowed to attend or hold a wedding in greater Sydney.

What about funerals?

Currently, funerals can continue to take place, including in the locked-down areas, with a maximum of 10 people, including the person conducting the service. Attending a funeral is a reasonable excuse to leave home.

Source: New Sydney LGA Covid lockdown restrictions and update to regional NSW coronavirus rules explained | New South Wales | The Guardian

Or … more inconsistent, contradictory and incoherent messaging from public health “experts” (“experts” seems to a synonym for “idiots”).

Update: In June of 2020, thousands of public health experts agreed that protesting was more important than fighting a virus. But in Australia, there’s this:

Protests of the right political persuasion or topic are a-okay, but protests against lock downs are dangerous.

Happy Birthday

But note that Twitter thinks “Dear America” requires translation. I selected the option and Twitter said this means, when translated from British English, “Dear America”.

Do you suffer from Long Covid? You may and not even realize it

(Paraphrased as seen on social media)

If you suffer from depression, lack of motivation, irritability, bursts of anger, fear and anxiety, loss of faith in institutions, even in science itself, you may be suffering from “Long Covid” even if you were never sick nor tested positive for Covid-19.

Is there anything that Covid can’t do?

Face masks, social distancing, restrictions until Zero-Covid, says San Diego

Kind of expected this. I do not think it’s safe until we achieve ResurrectionCovid. That is, we bring the Covid-dead back to life. If we can not do that, then no one is safe – must maintain lockdowns.