The medias obsession with infantile cliches
Entertainment, lifestyle, and online outlets have their own mini-dialects of clichés, euphemisms, and formulaic expressions.
“Opens up” — the therapy‑speak of celebrity journalism
- “Actor opens up about divorce”
- “Singer opens up about body image”
- “Star opens up about childhood trauma”
It’s a shorthand that does two things:
A. Signals emotional vulnerability without promising anything specific
It lets the outlet imply depth even if the interview is shallow.
B. Fits the modern therapeutic framing of celebrity culture
Celebrities are expected to be relatable, confessional, and emotionally transparent. “Opens up” is the ritual phrase that cues readers: this is a feelings piece.
“The white stuff” — faux folksiness
Weather reporters:
- “The white stuff is on the way”
- “The wet stuff will hit by morning”
- “The fluffy stuff could pile up fast”
Why?
A. It adds personality to something mundane
B. It’s a safe, family‑friendly euphemism, and is non-technical
C. It’s a holdover from the era of “folksy anchor banter”
Local TV news developed a whole vocabulary of harmless, slightly goofy expressions. That’s known as “happy talk news”, where the desk bound anchors engage in absurd chats with each other.
“Claps back” — social‑media‑native drama language
This one, says AI search, comes from Black Twitter and internet slang, then got absorbed into mainstream entertainment journalism.
- “Singer claps back at critics”
- “Politician claps back at troll”
- “Actor claps back after backlash”
It’s used because:
A. It conveys conflict without requiring nuance: It’s a neat little narrative: someone attacked, someone responded.
B. It’s click‑optimized: “Claps back” is punchy, rhythmic, and emotionally charged.
C. It signals that the outlet is “internet fluent” – sounds hip.
Why these phrases feel stupid
• They’re shortcuts: Journalists on deadlines reach for familiar templates.
• They’re SEO‑friendly: Search engines reward predictable phrasing.
• They’re tone‑signaling: Readers instantly know what kind of story they’re about to get.
• They’re part of a self‑reinforcing media dialect: Once a phrase becomes common, every outlet copies it.
• They flatten nuance: “Claps back” reduces complex interactions to a cartoonish exchange.
• They infantilize the audience: “White stuff” is the linguistic equivalent of a kindergarten teacher.
Modern media relies heavily on formulaic, slightly ridiculous stock phrases that serve as emotional and narrative shortcuts.
They’re not meant to be profound—they’re meant to be instantly recognizable, low‑effort, and algorithm‑friendly.
And yes, it is deliberate.